Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The Angst of Creation
I thought maybe I was the only one. But the more I read about the creative process, the more I realize all artists go through it. So now I don't feel so alone. My inspirations are the spark. Then I make a sketch, or draw off of a photo (I never project- I like the challenge of actually drawing- keeps my brain in good shape). Then I choose the medium, and start the process. I'm excited at first, then I begin to wonder what I was thinking. Half way through, I think it looks like you know what and I stop. Then I go back, wrestle mentally with the color, and start again. Once in a rare while, I move right through like I'm on auto pilot. That's probably the best case scenario. It's like running into the ocean and then minutes later, realizing how truly cold it is, but it's too late. You're already in. So you take the swim. It's best that way. If my art sits for too long, it's almost intimidating to go back to it. It becomes a dare. Especially if I'm working in a medium I'm trying to conquer. But the more you do something, the better you get... right? So right now, the acrylic painting of my friend Sean stares out across the room at me, daring me to finish him. His pale green, piercing eyes are done and they are boring through my mind. I envision the rest of him every which way I can, and what colors will best compliment him in the painting. I know for a brief moment in time, I will love the painting. And then it will fall from grace the minute the next one is started. I'm just glad I'm not the only tortured soul.